Marketing Brochure

STAVROS, STAVROS & ASSOCIATES
The Genius of Marketing

At Stavros, Stavros & Associates, we are your
complete marketing solution. We do more than just
infomercials. To be honest, that's pretty much all we
do, but we like to toss around buzzwords like "Global
Integrated Marketing Solutions," "Strategic Planning"
and "Total Branding."

The Genius of Marketing doesn't refer to our team or
our approach, but to Me. I will assess your situation,
determine your marketing needs by asking you trite
questions about "your goals," then assess how much you
pay Me. Then I'll write you a plan based on how much
money I need. It's that simple.

My assistants, Michael Rogers and Robin Behar, can
also assist you. Michael is Jewish. He's "careful"
with money. He tosses nickels around like manhole
covers. So he won't do anything extravagant with your
account. Of anything creative, either.

Robin can also assist you. If you're not sure about
signing with us, Robin will take you into a nearby
hotel room, massage you, and help you relax. You'll be
so relaxed you won't remember signing a 3-year deal
for 114 infomercials. But you'll be smiling. Trust Me.

So let's get started on Strategic Planning of your
Total Branding. Trust the Genius. Me.

Love and Kisses,
Alicia Stavros (former friend of Faith Popcorn)