Stavros Marries Horse

UNUSUAL WEDDING PROMPTS PROTESTS IN CALIFORNIA TOWN

SHERMAN OAKS - July 13, 2004 - Alicia Stavros a Los Angeles
marketing executive, has thrown the Sherman
Oaks courthouse into a fit with her petition to marry
her horse.  The "Horsey-Stavros" wedding license
application has drawn the attention of legal scholars,
local media and animal rights groups.

"What's the big deal?" Stavros said, "of a marriage
between a consenting adult and her horse? Besides, I
hate all men. They're gross and yucky, you can't
depend on them and I just don't care any more."

Richard Stover, a law professor at UCLA, said he
thought the marriage had little legal merit. "I can't
imagine the California Supreme Court would sanction
this. Still, this woman does have legal rights - to be
treated for mental retardation."

Stavros, who has worn a "wedding ring" with her
horse's image on it for months, said "I love Horsey
and Horsey loves me. Don't you, Horsey? Yes you do.
You love me. Give me a kiss. Yes, that's good."

Michael Rogers, a partner in her firm, said the
controversy has tired him. "Can't we put this all
behind us? I need to get back to the important things
I do each and every day on the job, planning my son's
Bar Mitzvah."

Robin Behar, another partner said, "If this all about
a big schlong she can just marry a Schvartzah. End of
story."

Stavros replied "Shut up. I hate you. No one
understands me. I'm the most original, unique person
on earth. Only Horsey loves me."